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Good Morning, Portland! Today was going to be the first Monday in weeks without some wild-ass shit screaming down the US political chute towards voters but PSYCHE / SIKE because Biden did something. More about that in national; let's hit the shit.

IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Did you wake up to a sprinkle? We've got a little rain falling down on our adorable heads this morning—keeping Portland at a temperate high of 68 degrees today. But by Thursday the summer sun may be scorching us with a high of 97.

• Speaking of water, why is Portland Water Bureau's former director saying she was forced to resign? OPB's Alex Zielinski looks into this unexpected city bureau upset.

• Do you bike in Portland's Central Eastside? Mercury reporter Taylor Griggs says that new bike infrastructure has made the area a much safer and more pleasant ride:

• Did you peep Project Pabst over the weekend? I was impressed by all the people straight-up watching for free from along the river—sharing a moment with all these Taylor Swift fans who watched her Munich show from a nearby hill. Last week we talked to Project Pabst's co-founder Matt Slessler about the return of the festival and why Pabst loves Portland so darn much.

• Did you get your snack on this weekend? In our Food News column, Julianne Bell dishes on new sushi restaurants and saying goodbye to Chaat Wallah (at least for now). 

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
• Place me firmly in the camp of people who do not know if the Dark Brandon thing is a joke by righties or Dems, or if it was made by righties but appropriated by Dems. But now that dude President Biden isn't up for reelection, dreams of him going on a policy tear may be coming true. Dude Biden has straight-up called upon congress to establish term limits and an enforceable ethics code for the last truly wildin' branch of US government, the Supreme Court. (And he'd like some limit to presidential immunity on top.) Granted, his idea of SCOTUS term limits is an eye-popping 18 years, and it seems unlikely Congress will take up the charge as many of them ARE running for election this fall. 

• Over the weekend, the 2024 summer Olympics commenced with an hours-long opening ceremony that involved dozens of beheaded Marie Antoinettes singing opera within the Conciergerie, while French heavy metal band Gojira played on lit platforms outside. Between shots of cold-looking dignitaries in rain-slicked ponchos, I was happy to be watching the ceremonies remotely, and I abandoned watching long before the part people managed to get upset about: One barge depicted a scene some read as a parody of Leonardo da Vinci’s painting of the Last Supper. The event organizers have since clarified that blue guy was Dionysus, and the cene was an orgy a bacchanal.

• But abut the actual competitions. The 2024 Paris Olympics will continue through August 11 and thus far we've seen some swimming, fencing, diving, and cycling. You can follow US wins here with NPR, if you're a flippin' nationalist. NYT is keeping track of all the medal winners here. 

• AWKWARD. Victory over Venezuela's presidential election has been claimed by both President Nicolás Maduro and the candidate opposing him, Edmundo González. The Associated Press reports that Venezuela's electoral council is controlled by Maduro loyalists and while they say Maduro secured 51 percent of the vote, they have yet to release the tallies.

• America unlocked a new fetish recently and it is high magnification photos of former president Donald Trump's ear. In related news: The FBI has confirmed that a bullet or a fragment of a bullet hit Trump's ear during the July 13 attempt on his life.

• As we continue to dissect the attempted assassination, researchers seem to be repeatedly seeing that security forces were aware of Trump's would-be assassin, Thomas Crooks, and thought he was acting suspiciously, but didn't deem him threatening enough to intervene. The New York Times obtained text messages between local security forces from that day. Imagine the NYT gets your texts, and now the world knows how barely coherent of a communicator you are.

• And now a rundown of the summer Olympics opening ceremonies from someone who actually appears to have watched the whole thing:

@connor.clary REVIEWING MOMENTS FROM THE 2024 PARIS OLYMPIC GAMES OPENING CEREMONY 🇫🇷 #parisolympics ♬ La vie en rose (Cover Edith Piaf) - 田东昱