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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! 👋

ALERT! ALERT! (For your tummy): The Mercury's BURGER WEEK ends this Sunday, August 25! Look, don't you want to devour all 88 (!!) of those delicious burgers from the city's best restaurants, which are only $8 each? Then you better start start cramming, then! (And cram some of this NEWS, while you're at it!)

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Alarms are rightly being raised over the obvious lack of oversight when it comes to police training in Oregon, as two upcoming training conferences will feature Dave Grossman, a self-proclaimed expert in “killology," who teaches wanna-be cops to be “warriors” and, as reported in our story, "are mentally prepared to view neighborhoods as battlegrounds and use force against the populations they police." JEEEEESUS! Find out more from this fascinating (and horrifying) report from Abe Asher.

• Obviously there's still a lot more work to accomplish, but... but... BUT! New data reveals that Multnomah County moved nearly 5,500 houseless people into homes (a 28 percent increase) and 7,900 got into shelters (a 35 percent jump) over the last fiscal year. Appropriate and full spending of the voter-approved Metro tax (which has been troublesome to the county in the past) is one of the reasons for the marked improvement. Officials are not over-celebrating and note we still have a long way to go... but this is GOOD.

• In case you haven't noticed, our Courtney Vaughn and Taylor Griggs have for months been meticulously tracking the comings and goings of every single local candidate (and there are close to a hundred) entering or leaving their races. The latest gossip? While former mayoral candidate Marshall Runkel has left the race, long-shot candidate Martin Ward—a self-described "house bum" who'd like to repeal the city's new charter—is the latest person to join the fray. Is he better than Rene Gonzalez? YOU BE THE JUDGE. Read about 'em all here.

• Experts say that Oregon is on the precipice of making critical mistakes in their rush to recriminalize drug use, because unlike Washington state—which has one solid plan that all counties must follow—our state is allowing counties to choose their own paths, a move that could very likely end in uneven and terrible results depending upon who's doing the planning. Find out more about Washington state's more thoughtful, measured plan here.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Veep wannabe Tim "Ballz to the" Walz took the stage on night three of the Democratic National Convention, pointedly trying to take the words "freedom" and "patriotism" away from Republicans who have owned (and botched) it for decades. (This made challenger and sofa enthusiast J.D. Vance very upset.) He was joined in that message by Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro, Oprah Winfrey, and former prez Bill Clinton—and even the biggest elephant in the room was addressed: Israel's war against the Palestinian people, though a request to have a Palestinian-American speak in front of the crowd was rebuffed. On the DNC's final night, expect Kamala Harris to accept her party's nomination, plus... other surprises. 

• Here's a headline no one wants to read before breakfast... and yet? Here we go: "FBI probes maggot incident at DNC breakfast in Chicago."

• In other presidential race news, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—you know, the totally sane one who has a brain worm and plays pranks with dead baby cubs—is reportedly dropping out of the race, perhaps as soon as tomorrow, and it's expected he'll throw his totally sane support to Trump. While the number of voters switching their support from RFK to Trump would be marginal, by most accounts this race will be tight... so VOTE, VOTE, VOTE.

• RIP to Sphen, one half of the famous gay penguin couple known for their excellent parenting skills and inspiring school children around the world, has died at just under 12-years-old, a long life for a penguin. (Only read this story if you enjoy uncontrollably sobbing into your bowl of corn flakes. 😭)

• And finally... me, heading into the weekend.