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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋

Along with the wise words our writers have been giving you about how to deal with the vile Donny administration, I'd like to take just a moment to remind you that a certain orange turd does not get to live rent-free in your head. True fear only comes when you are completely helpless, and you are definitely NOT. So do your best to distinguish between the mindless, drooling bullshit, and the stuff that we really need to be paying attention to, and join the Mercury in helping protect and defend those here in our community who are actually going to be affected (especially from local Trump enablers). See? Actually, you're not helpless at all. Now let's check out the important (and occasionally fun) stuff in the NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Oh, and speaking of local Trump enablers, new Multnomah County District Attorney Nathan Vasquez is showing off his farts and proclaiming that, unlike his predecessor (former DA Mike Schmidt), he's going to start seeking charges against law-breaking protesters. One problem with all this impotent tough-guy talk: Schmidt actually did charge law-breaking vandals (like the five arrested on Tuesday following a peaceful Waterfront Park protest) during his tenure, as well as those who committed violence. So what exactly was the point of this pointless, sparsely-attended press conference? Possibly it was just more blowhard posturing by a ladder-climbing politician who learned nothing from watching the failed political career of fellow macho blowhard, Rene Gonzalez.

“Tiffany & I knew that electoral politics would not bring about liberation, but we also knew that divesting from them entirely cedes power to the people who slash public programs to save on their tax bills, who propose jails instead of housing, who enthusiastically press the yes button on genocide.”

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— Nick Caleb (@ecosozialismus.bsky.social) January 23, 2025 at 8:40 AM

• Anyway, while Vasquez was bloviating across town, Mayor Keith Wilson was unveiling his $28 million homeless shelter expansion plan to a somewhat skeptical audience of city and county officials yesterday. Wilson aims to add 1,500 overnight shelter beds and open four day centers by December, though that $28 million is a big ask when the city is staring down a predicted $100 million budget shortfall this fiscal year. The mayor is expected to unveil his budget (and how the city will pay for the proposed shelters) by the end of February.

• Speaking of money crunches, the continuously beleaguered Portland Public School system is facing down a $40 million budget crisis, which officials estimate could lead to a loss of 228 jobs across the district. Meanwhile the state legislature is wondering, "Gee... if only there was some sort of state legislative body that could prioritize education and provide schools with the funding they need to make our students successful! Oh, well! 🤷‍♂️"

• Following "Shut the fuck up, Donny"'s pardon of 1,500 domestic terrorists who attacked the nation's capitol on January 6, there's been a mix of emotions from some of the Pacific Northwest's right-wing rioters. While some are rejoicing that they've been released from their "psychological prison" and will now "go on the offense," others are contrite, and correctly realize that attacking police officers, terrorizing officials, and causing $2.5 million in damage isn't exactly the true definition of "a patriot." 

Portland, if you love the Mercury's annual Burger Week, then you're going to flip ass-over-teakettle for our newest (and perhaps funnest) food week ever... the Portland Mercury's WIENER WEEK!

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.bsky.social) January 22, 2025 at 9:15 PM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Let's kick off with some positive news: Nearly 2,000 happy queer couples in Thailand took their wedding vows yesterday on the first day following the enactment of the country's Marriage Equality Act. Thailand is the third Asian country to legalize same-sex marriage, which grants full legal, financial, and medical rights to LGBTQ+ couples.

The Hughes Fire, near the Castaic Lake area, spread to more than 10,000 acres as the smaller Sepulveda Fire broke out along Interstate 405.

Thousands evacuate as firefighters battle to maintain the fast-moving blaze that swept through rugged mountains north of Los Angeles. wapo.st/40n1pF4

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— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost.com) January 23, 2025 at 7:37 AM

• "Shut the fuck up, Donny" (STFUD) continues to ramp up his racist executive orders surrounding immigration, which is intended to seal off the border of Mexico and lead to the deportation of millions of undocumented immigrants who help power the US economy. Threatening to end birthright citizenship while prosecuting any law enforcement officers who refuse to obey his immoral, anti-American rules, President STFUD will almost certainly sign a new bill approved by the House (including 46 Democrats) that would require the detainment of unauthorized immigrants who are accused (not "convicted," mind you) of theft or violent crimes. Besides the obvious moral implications, Republicans have also not considered how they will pay for any of this—but don't worry! If you're one of STFUD's billionaire pals, you won't be spending an extra penny.

The $250,000 Trump donor dinner was oversold, blighted by long lines and suffered from chaotic placecard swapping.

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— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast.bsky.social) January 23, 2025 at 8:09 AM

• Meanwhile, STFUD's cronies are applying pressure to federal employees, who received emails yesterday that they are required to turn over the names of any coworkers who work in diversity, equity, inclusion and accessibility positions. Following the president's orders to end federal DEI programs, his underlings are concerned that some employees may have hidden their involvement in such programs, and are ordering their coworkers to narc them out or face "adverse consequences."

• In the midst of this political shitstorm, the entertainment world merrily rolls along with the announcement of this year's Oscar nominations. Top nods are going to the transgender musical Emilia Pérez, as well as The Brutalist, and Wicked (which I watched for a total of 13 minutes before deciding it was "not for me"—but you do you). 

• And finally... here's where you will find me today.

@dollsonthebrain I do this in my car, but having a room is better. Term suggested by Victoria Gibson. Audio thanks to @ChickenHappyHour   ##wotd##wordoftheday📖##barbietok##barbietiktok##poppyparker##situationroom##revenge ♬ original sound - matthewkeith