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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋

Get ready, because the Mercury is presenting a full week dedicated to the greatest invention ever created by humankind... the SANDWICH. That's right, the Mercury's annual (and wildly popular) SANDWICH WEEK kicks off today (March 3) and will continue though this Sunday, in which you can devour 74 (!!) amazing sammies created by the best chefs Portland has to offer. Take a peep at all these glorious creations... that is if you love hot sandwich porn! And now let's get down with a sandwich full of NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• A crowd of more than 400 Democrats and Republicans gave Oregon Congressman Cliff Bentz holy hell at his recent town hall in La Grande, Oregon—and the situation has been repeated at community gatherings in La Grande, Baker City, Boardman, and Pendleton as well. Bentz made the "fuck around and find out" (FAFO) mistake of backing Trump's ridiculously idiotic policies that are causing big problems for his constituents and residents across eastern and southern Oregon, such as the massive and indiscriminate federal cuts that are threatening Medicaid, food assistance, wildfire control, farmers who depend on millions in federal agriculture grant contracts, and internet access just to name a few. And to the surprise of Oregon's Trump voters, they are just now discovering that the price for "owning the libs" also means owning themselves.

"After a year of developing the projects, Sammons was getting ready to make a public announcement about the funding. But he received a surprise email two weeks ago: The federal government was freezing the funds."

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— Ryan Haas (@ryanjhaas.bsky.social) March 3, 2025 at 7:53 AM

• More terrible news for Oregonians—particularly those in the central part of the state who depend on accurate weather forecasts for food production, flood warnings, wildfire control, and more—as the state has lost 25 percent to 60 percent of staff from each of four National Weather Service offices thanks to Trump and Musk's blindingly stupid federal cuts. However, everyone across the state should worry about the possibility that these massive Trump cuts will hamper our ability to prepare for natural disasters. Make no mistake, under the current administration, help will not be coming.

• Meanwhile the resistance continues in Portland, where on Saturday protesters rallied at the Salmon Street Springs Fountain in support of Ukraine after Trump's disastrous "peace talk" with President Zelenskyy on Friday. (More on that shit-covered cluster fuck in just a moment.) The rally was organized by the Ukrainian humanitarian aid group DAWN, and as rally-goer Nazezh Kravet told KATU news, even though Trump may appear to have control over Ukraine's future, "If we get together and raise our voice, we always have hope. We have to do something."

• City Administrator Michael Jordan unveiled an amended city budget on Friday, which shows that Portland is facing an estimated $93 million budget gap this year. According to OPB, Jordan is suggesting "cutting $22 million from the transportation bureau’s street maintenance and repair programs, slashing $19 million in parks services by reducing community center hours and eliminating summer programs, and eliminating nearly 300 jobs across all city bureaus." But it doesn't stop there, as Jordan also recommends using at least $19 million in funds from the Portland Clean Energy Fund to help patch the hole. Prepare for some very spicy and difficult upcoming City Council meetings.

March is coming in like a lion with fun events from Heart to Alton Brown Live, from Monet’s Floating Worlds at Giverny to Millennial March Movie Madness, and from the 47th Annual Shamrock Run to the Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival. It's our top picks for the month!

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) March 1, 2025 at 2:35 PM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Today in "King Fool": In case you missed it on Friday, King Fool and his doughy lapdog JD Vance went full lovesick for the Kremlin when they verbally attacked and tried to strong arm Ukrainian President Zelenskyy into an absolutely terrible rare earth minerals deal that would've put the country right in the hands of Putin. Happily, Zelenskyy was like "Oh HELL no" to Trump and Vance's impotent blustering—as any person in their right mind would be. It was one of the most embarrassing spectacles from a president in American history, and proved once and for all what we've long believed: Trump is Putin's hand puppet, and cares far more about making Russian and American oligarchs money instead of fostering democracy. Similarly, tons of Republicans (and the MAGA cult members) who once rightly recognized the Kremlin as an adversary to American values, have also conveniently changed their tune, and are wetly smooching the orange ass of Putin's puppet as well. Meanwhile, Europe is stepping up in the name of democracy and have renewed their vow to protect Ukraine from Russia's hostile invasion. (When America gets into serious trouble—and it surely will—who will be helping us? Not Putin, that's for sure.)

The Kremlin says US foreign policy now ‘largely aligns’ with Moscow’s vision.

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— Semafor (@semafor.com) March 3, 2025 at 6:33 AM

• Oh, and on the subject of JD Vance—who looks like the love child of James Lipton and the Pillsbury Dough Boy—here's another apt description from the great Mohanad Elshieky (who will be our special guest at the Mercury's Geniuses of Comedy show on March 20—get them tix now)!

@mohanad.elshieky91 See? He has many qualities. #comedy #funny #jokes #birds ♬ original sound - Mohanad Elshieky

• Speaking of disastrous meet-ups, Trump is scheduled to deliver an address to his Russian overlord a joint session of Congress tomorrow night (Tuesday) at 6 pm PST, in which he's expected to attempt to justify the massive federal cuts that are already negatively impacting his cult members, his (mostly failing) executive actions, his absolutely abysmal foreign policy blunders, while also trying to explain away why a majority of Americans think the country is heading in a terrible direction. FAFO, indeed!

• Here's your latest reminder that it's time to SELL YOUR TESLA AND ANY TESLA STOCK. Look, it's not your fault that Musk became an absolute monster after you purchased your Tesla, but the writing is on the wall for the car maker whose sales have plummeted by 45 percent in Europe and is also tumbling in California, the company's primary US market. Find out more in this "FAFO" article which documents Musk's woes which were largely brought on by his embrace of right-wing fascism. OH, and don't miss the weekly (and very large and boisterous) demonstrations in front of Portland's Tesla dealership at 4330 S Macadam. It's happening today (Monday and weekly) at 3:45 pm, and you can find out more information here.

Pete Hegseth just reportedly ordered the US military’s Cyber Command to “stand down” from all planning against Russia. Analysts have been ordered not to follow or report on Russian threats.

One inside source said, “Putin is on the inside now.”

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— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen.bsky.social) March 2, 2025 at 10:48 AM

• The "FAFO" follies continues with a huge outbreak of measles in Texas, in which 146 people (so far) have been infected, and thousands more may have been exposed. And what was anti-vaxxer and "Health" Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s reaction? He noted that such a huge, and potentially deadly outbreak is "not unusual" (!!), and while he said the government will send Texas 2,000 doses of the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine, he's not actually advising anyone to take them. A-plus plan... no notes.

• Today in "What the fuck?!? GROSS!!"

Adrien Brody paused on his way to the stage to collect his Oscar for best actor, turning back to toss his chewing gum to his girlfriend. It was not a perfect toss.

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— The New York Times (@nytimes.com) March 3, 2025 at 7:44 AM

• I'm now too exhausted to say a lot about last night's Oscars, except for the following laundry list of winners: Anora walked away with five awards including best picture and best actress, The Brutalist left with three awards including best actor, and Wicked took home two Oscars, including best production design and best costume design.

• And finally... we'll be rolling out the new Mercury TV News Network soon and are currently interviewing for anchors. Meet Silvia, our top pick so far... what do you think?

@ailaughatmyownjokes I am I the problem? #sketch #comedy ♬ original sound - it's a me, Silvia :)