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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND!👋

Get ready for a mostly sunny today and tomorrow with the highs around 60 degrees—before life and Halloween are fucking RUINED on Friday with rain showers late in the day. Can't we just have this one thing? (Halloween?) CAN'T WE?? Ugh. Anyway, open up your trick-or-treat bag so I can dump in a handful of NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Oooooooh, it was a VERY embarrassing start for the feds in the trial that could decide whether or not the National Guard can be deployed to Portland. A U.S. Department of Justice attorney admitted yesterday in front of Judge Karin Immergut that Oregon National Guard troops were in attendance at Portland’s ICE facility on October 4—despite the fact that Immergut had approved a temporary restraining order (TRO) against the soldiers being there mere hours before. (Ignoring a judge's orders is NOT a good lewk.) Apparently nine soldiers had been deployed there, working for eight hours AFTER the TRO had gone into effect. Judge Immergut was obviously not happy with this revelation and told the DOJ lawyers that she would be deciding at a later date whether to hold the Trump administration in "contempt and in direct violation” of her first restraining order—and she doesn't seem like the type to forget. (OOOoooOOOoooOOH, somebody's in trrrrrrroubbblle! 😁)

Portland's police commander testified that ICE officers accidentally tear gassed their own colleagues, causing them to open fire with pepper balls on a crowd of protesters and cops.

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— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast.bsky.social) October 30, 2025 at 7:33 AM

• Meanwhile the other big ICE trial news of the day occurred when Portland Police Commander Franz Schoening took the stand to point out how he was startled to see federal agents routinely firing tear gas, smoke, and other less-lethal munitions at protesters who had done nothing to deserve it, and calling the feds' actions "disproportionate." Perhaps even more shocking, Schoening also testified that agents had used "indiscriminate force" when one fired and hit a Portland Police officer with a pepper ball during a protest, and then was yelled at to either "engage or get out of the way." Police officers stated they had been gassed by the feds as well. When confronted later about the unwarranted attack, ICE supervisors played dumb saying "we’re not aware of what you’re talking about.” The trial is expected to continue for two more days, and if it remains this juicy? Grab your popcorn, 'cause things are not looking good for the feds so far. 🍿

• Thanks to Trump and his mewling Republican cult members in congress, SNAP benefits are being withheld from poverty-stricken Americans in November and possibly beyond—though the president seems able to find plenty of money for his gilded "Epstein Ballroom" and to fund his army of ICE kidnappers. In Oregon, Governor Tina Kotek will be sending $5 million to state food banks to help feed the 757,000 Oregonians who are currently on assistance—though that will only be a drop in the bucket since the state typically receives roughly $142 million in SNAP benefits. It's going to get ugly for a lot of people, but thankfully area businesses and nonprofits are stepping up to help feed the hungry while Trump lounges on his golden throne.

• On the same day that Republicans are taking away Oregon's SNAP benefits, Mayor Keith Wilson has ordered the police to once again begin enforcing the city's camping ban, which bans poverty-stricken houseless people from sleeping in public spaces when "reasonable" shelter is available. If houseless people refuse shelter—even though there's currently not nearly enough of it—they could be cited and fined $100 or spend a week in jail. Unfortunately for the mayor, local shelters remain confused on how this cruel plan will be implemented, and the courts are already struggling to clear a backlog of cases thanks to a lack of public defenders. (Sooooo... how's the war against poor people working out for you so far?)

• Looking for a good show? Here's a good show.

'Shucked' is a musical that knows exactly what it is: It’s an abundance of jokes and some catchy songs hung on the flimsiest of plots. It’s an uncomplicated romp about corn.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) October 29, 2025 at 1:48 PM

• Looking for a good movie? Here's a good movie—especially if you enjoy the concept of an evil interstellar alien taking over the body of a capitalistic CEO (allegedly). Bugonia is the newest film from fascinating Greek filmmaker Yorgos Lanthimos (The Lobster, Poor Things), and our Dom Sinacola has the smarty-pants review! Oh, and I almost neglected to mention that it stars Emma Stone who "spends much of Bugonia bald and lathered in bone-white antihistamine cream." Good to know.

Lumber Room's fall exhibition pairs works by contemporary sculptor Isabelle Albuquerque with 20th-century art matriarch Louise Bourgeois.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.com) October 29, 2025 at 4:44 PM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Coinciding with the terrifyingly tense Netflix movie A House of Dynamite—about a rogue ICBM heading for the continental United States—the least dependable person in the world, Donald Trump, has ordered the Pentagon to test nuclear weapons for first time since 1992. The impotent, saber-rattling prez wants American nuclear testing to match what's going on (at least in his addled brain) in Russia and China—even though there's currently a global ban on testing. 🤔 The action immediately ratcheted up tensions between the three countries, with Russia saying that now they'll be ramping up their testing as well. What could possibly go wrong? 

NEW POLL: More than half of Americans oppose President Trump’s plan to replace the White House’s East Wing with a $300 million ballroom.

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— Politico (@politico.com) October 30, 2025 at 7:53 AM

• And Trump's plan to militarize the cities he doesn't like continues, as the Pentagon has ordered the National Guard to develop a “quick reaction force” made up of 23,500 troops to deploy into cities who disagree with the president's policies, according to a leaked memo. It's reported that the troops will be trained in crowd control tactics, be given less-lethal weapons to fire at uncooperative citizens, and be ready to leap into action on January 1 of the coming year—that is if the courts are unable to stop him.

Reminder: This is what Trump is paying for while saying he has no money for food benefits for people across the country.

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— Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner.bsky.social) October 30, 2025 at 7:59 AM

• Jamaica and Cuba are attempting to recover from the massive Hurricane Melissa that swept through the islands yesterday, as it now heads toward Bermuda. One of the strongest storms to ever form in the Caribbean, Melissa is thankfully beginning to lose steam and has been downgraded from a Category 5 storm (with winds peaking at 185 mph) to Category 2 with sustained winds clocking in at 100 mph. Haiti and the Dominican Republic expect to receive 40 inches of rain, and at least 36 people in the Carribbean have been killed by the storm.

• Five more suspects have been arrested in the case of the Louvre heist, in which the burglars snuck into the museum during broad daylight and escaped (at least temporarily) with the famous crown jewels. While authorities are getting closer to apprehending the criminals, the jewels—worth a whopping $102 million—have still not been recovered.

• And finally... meet the Halloween lanterns of 2025!

@yousuckatcooking Getting Jacked  #jackolantern #halloween ♬ original sound - You Suck at Cooking