First off, if you go into a restaurant five or ten minutes before they close, and the place is obviously pretty much closing down (obvious to everyone but the people this rant is aimed at), the entire staff hates you. And I truly mean "hate", not just annoyed, or perturbed. And if you still insist on being seated even though the host person brings up the fact that the kitchen is closing in a couple of minutes (not so subtle code for "why don't you go someplace that is open really late and won't mind you being there at 11:30"), don't be a total loser and take your sweet ass time ordering, or paying for that matter. Especially paying - you know you are done - you know you don't want anything else - pay the goddamn bill! Don't let it sit on the table for 15 minutes, before or after the card has been run - sign the damn thing and put it within easy reach of the waiter. They don't give a rat's ass if you want to stay awhile - but they sure as shit don't need to be there while you chat/flirt/argue, etc...