I spend a minimum of 15 minutes everyday using my company's facilities... in layman's terms: I spend that time shitting and/or pissing. If I total the weekly amount of time I spend defecating or urinating on company time, it comes to 1 hour and 15 minutes. Oh, and I make $25 an hour.

Let's do some math, shall we?

I will do everyone a favor and just round my shitting/pissing time to one hour a week, which equates to $25. Multiply that by four weeks and it comes to $100 a month. $100 x 12 = $1200 a year.

That's $1200 I'm GETTING PAID to take a shit/piss. This is a conservative number, of course.

Isn't America a great country?