Dear Portland Ladies:
You all are officially the worst.
Its officially shorts season, the sultry heart of the Pacific Northwest
Men know how to look without being seen, but you fucking ladies look right to where my thigh gap would be and seem to get lost there.
Your sunglasses donât make you invisible and your gender-hetero what the fuck ever doesnât protect you from looking like some knuckle-dragging-fucknut-goon.
Whether youâre thinking sheâs brave, she shouldnât do that or giving me props or what the fuck ever; you need to mind your manners. Staring isnât OK.
If you are going to get lost in the pillow of my thighs you better give me a fucking head nod or something, let me know whatâs up, because Iâm going to start embarrassing your stupid puritanical gaze holding yuppie faces.