To the Lake Oswego parents of a certain 19yo son: thanks! The bumper was already pretty toast (my fault there). Your boy wasn't paying attention when he rear ended me at roughly 15 mph in stop and go I-5 traffic. He was too busy making duck face selfies while twirling his young blond man-bun. You should probably tell boy to not drive while wearing flip flops.
He cried when I told him I saw him in my rear view playing with his phone and that he could have killed someone had we been going any faster. You raised a pussy samurai btw and your insurance covered the brand new replacement, 6000 dollars and provided me a rental car for two weeks.