I had planned on voting for Trump this November, but my mind changed a few days ago...

Underneath the shade of my "Don't Tread on Me" flag, my car sat parked. I had purchased two bumper stickers that read "Hillary For Prison, 2016" and "Oh HILL No!" and was anticipating letting the world know my political views. I was crouched down, wiping the dust off the bumper while Lars was on the radio yelling about Benghazi again and then something happened to me. I've gotten minor erections before listening to right-wing talk radio, but I always attributed it to the residual effects of my Viagra. This was different.

As Lars' voice echoed his hate within, I looked down and saw a small puddle underneath me. My first thought was that the gas tank had sprung a leak, but I soon realized that it was me... I was literally frothing at the mouth. I sat still for a moment, processing what was happening with what little brain power the good Lord had provided me. Once processed, I was shocked and ashamed, then something clicked and broke me out of this life-long trance of ignorance, hate and fear. I took a deep breath, removed the sticker and flag and quietly went back inside. The next morning, I decided that I wasn't going to be a pawn anymore and would not be voting for Trump, or any future Republican.

Will I be voting for Hillary, you ask? No. Although I've lost all my ignorance, hate and fear, I'm still a male chauvinist pig. Not sure when I'll wake up from that nightmare.