Your personal bathroom hygiene is disgusting and I've had enough. For 4 years I've had to work in an office with you, and for 4 years you've left skids on the bowl. I know it's you because I've walked in after you've dropped a load and almost vomited on top of your deuce.

I've taken the professional route by sending an anonymous email to the boss 2 years ago, and in turn, the boss made a general, non-specific announcement about keeping the office clean. After that meeting, I did notice that the smears had disappeared, but that was short-lived. It was like you decided to take a stand, planting your flag firmly in the porcelain throne and proclaiming: "How DARE anyone tell me I can't smudge the toilet with my poo! This shall not stand!" The smearing returned.

I can't take it anymore. Nothing seems to work, so I've decided to fight fire with fire... your filth with my filth. I've stopped flushing. I've left my soiled TP face up and floating in the water. I've "accidentally" dropped my used TP on the seat itself. I do this because I want a movement to form (pun intended), I want the office to ban together to finally stop you. I want somebody else to call you out, to shame you. I want the smearing to STOP!

I can't believe it's come to this.