I'm That Guy


IA, here's your future, for free: First your left hand will cramp up into a tight ball and fire will shoot down your left arm. But then the your throat constricts like a gorilla has you by the neck. Then you'll realize you can't breathe while your heart fills up like a water balloon. Just a few minutes of excruciating pain until your heart explodes and your chest fills with blood. But you got there first!
...that's how zipper merges are supposed to work though. You're supposed to use both lanes until the last moment. I know Portland's nicehole drivers don't really seem to get that, but you're basically patting yourself on the back for being a contrarian asshole when you're truthfully one of the handful of people using zipper merges correctly.
#2 is correct - zipper merges are the most efficient way of getting everyone through traffic, so as many people as possible should be employing the tactic I/A is using (while actually following the proper left-lane-right-lane-one-by-one protocol at the front of the line).

If everyone did this, we would have two beneficial outcomes - one, everyone gets through the line faster on average, and two, we get to deny I/A his pleasure at thinking he is smart and special.
Yeah, that's pretty much all that's left for the 99% of self-identified alphas' who are, inexplicably to themselves, powerless losers. It's pretty funny that you think of, what, driving badly?, as some kind Nietzschean privilege when you're so completely dependent on the norms you "violate". It's mainly the behavior of an only male child with an indulgent mother. I'm sure that many of my employees are alphas in the same way . . . sad they have to work for someone, suppress their ubermensch self-image all day, every day. Hopefully they sustain their fictions of alpha identity by cutting off other drivers at zipper merges so I don't have to deal with their tedious shit. Who has the power, the self-indulgent narcissist or the one who indulges?
Ahhhhhhh. So this is why your wife has me leaving 15 minutes earlier lately. Makes sense now.
I was going to comment but it looks like my fellow trolls have it covered. Good work y'all!
So you're that guy huh? Finally I'm able to put a fake post to the face of those drivers. If I only I had the guts to post a bullshit rant like you.
Then, again, the big money behind the new construction should be paying the public for the inconvenience and cost of blocking the lane for months on end.