The core of the story would've been the exact same if you didn't mention the fact that you live in a conversion van. That's how I know this rant is real. Only in Portland would someone use this blog as an opportunity to brag about the fact they're eco-friendly and live in a conversion van.
This rant has everything... Irony, hypocrisy, impotence, etc., etc., etc.
This rant has everything... Irony, hypocrisy, impotence, etc., etc., etc.