Stop looking at me with those "poor you" eyes, and know that just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I am a lesser person. I know you're secretly envious of my freedom, peace of mind, and early retirement; and I know how much value unconditional child-love you recieve. Life is a series of decisions and choices. You chose to procrorate and place importance on raising a human. I took the road less travelled. I truly believe that neither is better than the other...until I'm made to feel judged and/or excluded. At which point my confidence briefly spins in the negativity cycle. Putting me in defensive survival mode, having to explain myself. Challenging me, once again, to stand by my decisions and know that I am okay despite living outside of social norms. At which point I'd like to scream in your face, "Fuck off! I'm no less of a person because I decided my path to glory would be a low stress version of your constant chaos!". And to those of you who feel a childless person cannot relate to you and your human-rearing ways, know this: We do have valid opinions regarding your woes and wins, we can give you an unbiased, non-judgmental opinion, and we will be your most dependable friend.
Ode to the Human Raisers
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.