I'm the little car passed your waiting asses on the roads last night. I'm the car that had chains on all four of tires and can get through any snow with relative ease. The car that ran stop signs as you continued to be indecisive and wait? That was me.

As you sat there not knowing what to do, holding up a massive amount of traffic (you all were doing this), I was the car that zipped right by you, crossed the intersection and was on my way!

I took side streets, as they had the thickest snow and most people avoided them. Not me! With my chained-up car, side streets were my key to getting home. I was held up for about 30 minutes at 82nd and Sandy because I had no choice… I had to cross that intersection to get pass the 205 and back onto side streets.

It took me about an hour and a half to get from North Portland to Gresham. Not bad, considering the endless lanes of idle cars on the main roads. Spinning tires, confused looks of panic… you were all in such a daze.

And yeah, it was my little '89 Volvo sedan that passed all of you with your big manly 4x4's. I'm sure you did a double take as I whizzed by you, wondering why your beefy truck was stuck like the rest of the suckers… your sad little Trump sticker all covered in snow.

See, for a small investment you can buy yourself some snow chains. You may not need them but once every few years, but when you do it's so much fun!

Did I mention that I'm a woman? That's right! Betcha didn't see that one coming, eh?