I broke the dry spell of five years, two months and fifteen days without penetrative sex last night. It was lackluster not only because the guy's cock was tiny and nothing compared to your XXL cock. The spanks and the bruises were nothing compare to the hard hitting beats you brought to my yearning backside; which was black & blue without the use of a belt. Your hands delivered prefect blows to my buttocks. I will never experience the climaxes which you gave me, I'll have to make due with rubbing my clitoris which is fine.
I know now that I will never see or hear your Je ne sais quoi self and I have accepted that. I don't think I will find fulfillment in another person ever again. I have chosen to focus on education and the career that would follow. I have given up to an extent. Though I'm building myself to a machine. I have to fabricate it to shield the emotions that pine for you.