Okay. I will try to do this using my understanding of the
techniques of Non-Violent Communication (NVC), as described by
Marshall Rosenberg.

I can start by giving you empathy.

In your particular case, I might be wrong, but I am guessing
that you are using your handheld device while driving, as a way
of meeting your needs, either for connecting to others, or for
making a contribution, or maybe as a source for comfort.

If he were still alive, and we could bring him into the
conversation, he might encourage you to say what particular need
that was being met by using your handheld device while driving.
He had a way of gently shifting people to keep trying to answer
him in the form of needs-being-met.

It is so simple in a way. He wasn't interested in finding blame.
As a first step, he wanted to help you understand the needs that
you were wanting to satisfy, and to be able to express them
simply. This can be surprisingly difficult, but let's assume
we've done this, and you've been able to express which needs
were being met by using your handheld device while driving.

[One reason that this is difficult is because no matter how
scrupulously he might have expressed his question about your
needs, it is difficult for any of us to not hear "blame" even if
there is nothing blame-like about it. He says we have been
trained in a language of judgment, and this leads us to make
tragic errors in the strategies we use to meet our needs.]

(Continued in #2)

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* Also includes mobile phone conversations and the time waiting at stoplights.