Dear Boyfriend of my Housemate: I get that you’re an awesome guy, a Bernie Bro and a friend of feminism. But if you go on more rant about how the government should fund birth control while you spend most of your time here, not paying rent and having loud sex with my housemate, I swear I will super-glue a “Make America Great Again” hat to your morning wood the next time I hear you snoring away as I get ready to work the early shift. You’ve been out of college almost two years now, and I think you are in grad school or work in a bike shop or something, but I notice you always have plenty of money to buy weed while my housemate wonders how she will pay for her contraception. It’s your board that’s getting waxed, dude, so instead of waiting for Trump to buy you a vasectomy, how about you take, oh, say $20 or $30 out of your monthly kind bud budget and help a sister out. I know, I know, cisgender males aren’t used to doing anything but dipping out when their girlfriends get pregnant before sensitive guys like you move onto the next sap to fall for “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like” line, but I’m hoping you’re an exception to the rule. If not, please put a pussy hat over your penis from here on in and stop talking!