I admittedly enjoyed watching the Republicans celebrate their latest war crimes against humanity at the WH, figuring this craven display of Asshole Rich White Power would serve as the catalyst to finally start a revolution. I was wrong...and still waiting.

C'mon, people! While the optics of a big-ass march looks amazing on TV — and holding clever signs make me feel cheeky, haven't we learned by now that civil disobedience only goes so far? I understand violence should only be the last resort when all else fails, but in case you've been in an Ambien-induced coma for the past 3 months, this country elected a lying, racist, sexist, syntactically challenged, bloated man-child with a bad spray tan, who with the help of Russian oligarchs and his rotten kids, are hellbent on destroying you and me as well as gang-banging mother earth to death. So yes, it's time to fuck shit up.

But if you prefer some flowery, inspirational quotes from one of our founding fucking fathers, here ya go:

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” – Thomas Fucking Jefferson

“This country...belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it.” – Abe Fucking Lincoln

“We need a revolution every 200 years, because all governments become stale and corrupt after 200 years.” – Benjamin Fucking Franklin

Believe me now? To be fair, however, if we do nothing and just slowly rot to death on a hopelessly diseased, polluted planet, at least you'll soon have the convenience of being able to buy hootch, ammo and guns at your local drive-thru, biblical-themed liquor store.

God Bless Amerikkka!