Most of my friends have moved away over the years. I have, maybe, three good female friends left in this town and I see them on a pretty regular basis. A thing I've noticed since moving into my new neighborhood a year and a half ago is that EVERYONE is nosey. Perhaps it's because this particular neighborhood is filled with retired folk who tend to be gossipy busy-bodies.

That said, I know that they talk about me. Why? Well, because I'm a single man who lives in a two-bedroom house with my dog. I've taken a hiatus on dating, so I'm certain these neighbors of mine are wondering what my deal is. I see them stare as I take out the garbage or get the mail, and when I leave my driveway for work, I see the curtains part and shadowy figures peeking out.

So, to really give them something to talk about, I've asked my female friends to do certain things while leaving my house. They'll visit for a few hours and as they're leaving, I've asked them to be buttoning-up their shirts, or adjusting their pants or skirts... and I've asked them to tassel their hair for effect. One of my friends does a real acting job and sometimes she'll lean against the post on my porch and fan her face with her hand, then she staggers to her car and off she goes, with the little neighbor bittys staring all agog.

If my neighbors want to stare and gossip, then I'll give them something to talk about.