I'm a proud right-wing deplorable and whenever I read something about TRUMP that the BIASED FAKE LIBERAL media "reports" on, I just sit back, crack open another Rocky Top and look at the framed image on my wall of Trump's tweet saying that anything negative about him is fake news. There was no data, facts or information to back this claim up, but it don't matter none to us proud right-wingers. We take great comfort in that tweet, for it told us exactly how and what to think.

After a long day of watching FOX news, listening to Alex Jones come up with another outlandish, yet true, conspiracy theory, and infesting online comment boards with my "thoughts" and opinions, I sure do like to decompress and turn my brain off, which isn't hard to do since it don't got that much power anyway.

I'm a 53 year old single white man who is still a virgin... guess I ain't never been too good with the ladies. But to compensate for my lack of sexual prowess, I have an arsenal of weaponry that makes me feel like a big bad hombre. I also have a real big truck that, OK, I'll admit it, turns me on. Just feeling the rumble of that diesel engine really gets my engine rumbling, if you catch my drift. I have an Inforwars, "Don't Tread on Me" and a big ol' TRUMP sticker on the back bumper, you might have seen me donning my Oakley shades while speeding through local school zones. God dang-it if I ain't an original individual!

Yup, just sitting right back, sipping on my 7th Rocky Top and staring at that framed tweet for hours...