You took a sharp object and scratched my car from stern to stem — WHY??? It's not an SUV, a BMW, a Jaguar, Prius or anything fancy. It's not new. It was legally parked, not hanging over a curb cut nor too close to cars fore and aft nor in a zone requiring a special permit. It was close to the curb, not in a bike lane. It bears no bumper stickers at all nor decals professing any configuration of family or religion or memberships. Yes, I am a middle-aged woman; everybody hates my kind — but I was not driving nor was I even present. The guy who drove my car to the Burger Week festivities and parked it where you could deface it bears an astounding resemblance to Santa Claus. Why did you key Santa's car??? Some of the key action is quite deep, signifying some kind of rage, but I didn't cheat on you nor fire you nor give you a bad grade — these are the most common car vandalism scenarios, but none apply. It happened in SE Portland where people have smashed windows of cars and businesses and slashed the tires of long rows of cars and taught Nike such a tough lesson about their goddamn orange bikes. You yourself may not be one of those more ambitions vandals, but, again, why??? What is the pay-off for such incoherent, brutish AND cowardly gestures??? I know that the schools, parks, libraries, public transit system, clean water, and roads for which I have paid all these years are detestable. I read The Mercury. I know what's what. It's hardly worth your time to piss on it all, but you manage. My question is WHY???