FUCK FIREWORKS and FUCK YOU, you nameless, faceless 15-year-old boy from Vancouver, WA. You and your group of friends who stood by and watched you throw a lit firework into Eagle Creek Canyon are ALL culpable for destroying tens of thousands of the most pristine natural scenic areas in Oregon. Well, you succeeded in fucking everything up and killing the Columbia River Gorge for us all due to stupidity, ignorance and carelessness by playing with fireworks.

Are you proud of yourself, asshole? Do you feel “cool” because you started a wildfire that has burned almost 40,000 acres of pristine forest land throughout the Gorge? A week and a half after you made the idiotic decision to throw that damn firework, did you know the Gorge would still be burning out of control, not to be completely out until winter comes?!! Do you care at all about the hundreds of lives you’ve affected? People have been placed under mandatory evacuation notices and displaced in makeshift refugee camps, unable to return to their homes because the fire you started continues to put people and homes in jeopardy?

Do you give one shit that people who got to stay in their homes didn’t go outside for almost a week due to thick, acrid, choking smoke and ash that fell like snow in the summer because you threw that fucking firework? Do you mourn at all for the beautiful, precious forest you destroyed? Do you wonder what happened to the all animals who were trapped by the fire you started by being a dumb, selfish little asshole? I hope a judge sentences you to many, many years of community service to right your wrong, starting with cleanup after the fire is out and continuing with restoration of our beloved Gorge your carelessness burned down.