It was my birthday. I don't celebrate or advertise it. I got a couple birthday wishes from a couple important people. Otherwise, this kind of personal information is lost upon the world of "me, me, me," social media, and endless, useless information. But my fault for not broadcasting my birthday. I don't care anyway. I don't want special treatment.
It's fake.
But it would be nice to be recognized for something I do in this life without begging for it, or having Facebook remind people, which I deleted my birthdate information anyway.
My mom and sister called. That's all I needed. Besides my birthday is my Moms and Dads screwing. I had nothing to do with it.
This is not the main point but is part of the reason why I was feeling a bit numb. A week later is a date I put down my cat. I miss him everyday. When he left, he went quick. No time to prepare, but just to make the decision, "was it time?" It was time. This was maybe 10 years ago.
I don't know that time heals, but time makes you forgot, or at least not think about it as much, and be consumed with other stupid current thoughts. I felt weird the time leading up to it, and didn't know why. One day later I realized I forgot the day he was no longer a cat. Then I knew why.
Now, this time is reflection. Now he is ash in a tiny container. I'll set him free someday in the wind, trees or water. If I can let go.
Then 9/11 which deeply affected me.
I do believe the universe has a way of telling us something. I know why I felt so melancholic for a few weeks.