Eh, the swift thing is in a freaking ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I would really like it if I could drive on the roads without all the other drivers out there but... reality and stuff.

You are the only one upset about not "hearing" the swifts. This must have been your first time there, because there are always kids there, and no, people don't tell their kids to be quiet so you can hear the birds. What are you going to do, walk around and tell all the parents to gather their children and keep them quiet because you really want HEAR the swifts too? Get real.

OP, you are the spolied brat in this story.

Portlanders consider people other than themselves? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

When I want to avoid children and the sounds they make, an elementary school is the first place I think of.

this event is pretty much for the kids yo. It's like, an official kid event. Not sure what flyer hanging in a hippy coffee shop on Mississippi you read, but this wasn't your opportunity to be one with nature. I'm sure you still got your instagram picture for your update, so quit complaining and get lost in real nature

You're probably middle-aged, which means you had that crap parenting of the 80s and 90s -- YOUR parents appeased you at every turn and made you comfortable at all times. That's why you can't tolerate the children's voices -- nostalgia overwhelms you, a wave of self pity drowns you, and you become angry that you're no longer everyone's darling. In other eras, your parents would have helped you mature. Try this, from my own mother: "Be happy for their happiness." To a mature person, the sounds of children at play sends up a cloud of happiness that can envelope you, too, even though you are no longer a child at play. The same goes for the drone of leaf blowers, the scream of Cherrybomb exhausted Hondas -- even the tortured arguments of drunks at 3 AM: these are people pursuing happiness by any means necessary. Train yourself to be happy for them.