As our ol' buddy, Billy the Shakes reminds us, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves..." In other words, the people around you do not exist for your edification, so quit trying to blame your own lack of pretty much everything on pretty much everyone but yourself.

If you can't surround yourself with those people, I/A, the ones who are smart, better, ambitious, etc., perhaps it's because they're the ones who don't want a sad loser judgmental sack like YOU around. Ever think of that?

This one is easy -- be the change you want to see. I think you're setting the goals much too high, though. Start with amazing things that are simple but doable: read a great book but don't bore anybody else with it; make bread or cookies and take them to the neighbors; sit for 5 minutes a day and try to clear your mind -- and do this every day for a while. Give yourself a break and extend this courtesy to others.