Attn. all club guests! For the love of humanity, please wash those funky pits, your stinky feet, and any nooks and crannies in your boxer zone BEFORE heading to the workout area. Your funk ain't sexy, and those cover-up gels, perfumes, or colognes you're wearing only leave you smelling like funk-n-scent. Of course, if you think you have a right to clog my nose with your b.o. and junk skunk, know that I will immediately go nuclear with a protein enriched fart well within range of your olfactory system. Trust me. That's a war neither of us wants.