So while watching the playoffs last night, I saw an ad for something called the âWillamette Country Music Festivalâ featuring everyoneâs favorite racist-white-rapper-turned-hillbilly- crooner, Kid Rock. WTF? Seriously, Oregon? Feeling both intrigued and annoyed, I went to the website and got more info. Fortunately, the shitfest doesnât take place until next Summer, providing ample time for organizers to find a new headliner and send the asshole formerly known as Rob Ritchie back to Michigan and the rock from which he crawled from.
Also on the websiteâs FAQ, bold faced declarations include warnings of âObnoxious and Illegal Alcohol Consumptionâ âDonât Be A Jerkâ and âNo knives, guns, explosives, or weapons of any kind.â Theyâre joking, right? After all, whatâs a Kid Rock show without getting a little rude, crude and stewed and firing off a few rounds from grand pappyâs shot gun. Sheesh. Whatâs next, no Confederate flags or tiki torches? Thanks for nothing, Obama! Iâm also calling out the eventâs sponsors to pull out and save face. It's just not worth it. And donât worry, attendees will be just fine with all the left over cases of Kid Rock Beer and Trump Vodka (yes, a real thing and marketed by the same soulless company).
Cheers!