Very compassionate muffins! And super not tone deaf at all. I'm surprised the Merc didn't screen out your graphic violent description of putting a bag over a victim's head and ball gagging them with a sock, all for complaining about unwanted touching.

This IA reminds me of that old Coinstar commercial where the waitress kept getting unwanted touching by the lecherous old man who would creepily slip a penny in her pocket and spank her on the ass. She saved up all the pennies and bought a taser which she kept in her pocket and it shocked the shit out of him when he tried to put his hand in her pocket again. Hilarious!

Still, its unlikely that you will find a technological solution to this that will not mace/poison/shock-the-actual-shit out of yourself, your real friends, your grandmother, etc.

May I suggest Aikido? You can take down a 300-pound man and smile at him while his eyes beg you for mercy :)

I've only experienced a culture of nonconsensual hugging in the jam band community.

@muffins: Clearly the people you have molested did not know Aikido. I relish the day your luck runs out.

Sounds like you want in on the action ray. Are you also into bagging and gagging women who complain when they are molested? Sounds like you and muffins are a much better fit. Unlike him, I comment with a purpose

Is it too late for hump fest? That would be great, as long as I can put a bag over Muffin's head and ball gag him with a (dirty) sock and duct tape, as per his suggestion against the woman who was complaining about sexual harassment. Then, as I fuck him without consent, I perform Aikido submission holds on him until he throws up his balls. Pretty sure Dan Savage would be into this and we might even win first prize! What do you say muffins?

PS @r.a.y: actually you and me are cool. If I ever were to have a bromance you would be the much better catch

Why don't you just tell them not to hug you, or step away from them or put your hands up so they can't hug you? Women complain about shit like that all the time but don't actually do anything to prevent it.

Afraid a hug will knock that chip off your shoulder?

SOMEONE JUST PUT A PAPER BAG OVER MY HEAD WITHOUT MY CONSENT! WHAT DO I DO? Can I take it off now? Should I say something?