Dear fuck-heads: you live in a city. That means squeeze onto the bus, don't block the door and exit to the back. That sweet old woman with the walker standing in the rain can't board because your startled, confused entitled ass is too dense to realize we could easily fit twenty more people on here. Squeeze your ass in! Your bullshit "oh there's no more room we're sardines in here" nonsense wouldn't fly in New York or Chicago, where drivers aren't worried about snotty Yelp or Bing reviews- they'll kick your ass. I do my best to provide friendly encouragement to your deer-in-headlights stance, looking behind you confusedly acknowledging the empty space and seats behind you. Honestly: I wish you cancer; that your kids experience addiction; and that your dear sweet me-maw and pap-pap can finally get on the bus despite your obscenely insistent need for "comfort space" on board our public transit - which everyone should be able to access equally you piece of shit. Squeeze your ass in and count your blessings this isn't a bigger city, where the rats, scabies and ass-whoopings abound. We hate your face; please die you germaphobic scum - this one goes out to your mother, to whom I gave my seat, you fecal-faced devourers of all that's proper. #SMH
No Portland Bus is Ever Full
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