To the asshole who didn't hit me the other night but did send me flying into a fence when you decided to drive into an intersection I had the right of way in: You get half a point for having the decency to pull over, apologize, and check on my status. You lose that half point and plummet into the negatives of point-world by thinking I give a flying fuck that the reason you made me wipe the fuck out was because you put a fucking big ass birthday balloon in the fucking front seat of your fucking car so it can block your fucking view and—- what? Be your golden excuse for anything that happens due to you not being able to see half the road? Spare me the tale of your idiocy, dude. I hope everyone you told the story to at the birthday party gave you shit and you cried yourself to sleep that night.
Fuck Your Birthday Balloon
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.