So, I'm the bad guy. One of them.
It doesn't do anything to apologise today, years in the future, but I hope you know I've been working on getting better for a long time now.
My road is difficult and often lonely. This is part of the price I pay for my previous harmful deeds.
I ask myself what I'm living for. What is it that I become at the end of all this?
Are the any good deeds that I can accomplish?
I don't think I'm trying to wash away my old mistakes. I'm not sure I'll even balance them out.
But I have time left in my life and I'm doing my best to create value somewhere.
I've hurt people. I've hurt myself. I've contributed to a culture of harm and domination.
I work to improve. Isolated. Damaged.
By the time you saw me, I was in the middle of my path. I had taken a few big steps. Made my promise to myself and the universe.
I don't know how to make any sense of it either, but I must live it.
When you do something unforgivable, what's left?
Is there an "up"?