Anyone remember the urban myth: "Don't flash your brights at cars, because could be a gang and shoot you?"
I'm not a gang member. I'm not going to shoot you.
However... I abso-f******-lutely have thought about it, while driving home late after tending bar, and dealing with your giant SUV up my ass on a otherwise empty road, manically flashing your brights through not one, not even three, but FIVE lights.
Dingbat, do you know what flashing your brights means? It's a method of non-verbal communication, to be used instead of honking your horn. For 1)emergencies 2)communicating desire to pass, etc.
Not your reason? Trying to tell me... oh, turn my lights on?
Mr. Bright-But-Not, you can see me, yes? You see a dim glow from my ancient beat-up Honda?
THAT IS BECAUSE MY LIGHTS ARE ON.
My car happens to be 20 years old, if you can't tell by the TAPE. I am SOOOO sorry during the gentrification of MY TOWN, in which you, your trust fund, and your nasal girlfriend and the 2,000,000 clones of you swarmed what USED to be a delightful place to live, that they forgot to give me a new car with bright enough f****** lights to satisfy YOUR taste while you drive home drunk at 3:30 am.
And for those of you who reserve it for foggy mornings at 7 am- Do you know what happens when you are behind me about 10 yards and its foggy and you flash your brights?
YOU LITERALLY BLIND ME. I could explain to you how water reflects light and how fog is made up of trapped water, but I don't want to hurt your tiny squirrel brain.
Bottom line: DONT F******* FLASH YOUR BRIGHTS
——-UNLESS:
My car is on fire.
(Insert Thumbs Up Emoji Here)