When you signed your drivers license you agreed to follow the same guidelines and rules so everyone would be on the same page. Stop adjusting the rules because no one around you is a mindreader, ya dipshits!

And for a quick brush-up:

A 4-way stop is just that. You think because you’re taking a right turn you can just go to the head of the line? NO. It’s a 4-way stop NOT a 5-way stop.

The light is red and once again you want to make a right turn. This time you decide to do so via the bicycle lane. THIS IS ILLEGAL. Also, if the driver who is actually in the lane goes to make a right turn and you’re there, BLAMO, and fuck you.

Let’s do a quickie for those oh-so-nice Portland drivers who are being the hero by stopping to let a car cross in front of more than one lane of traffic even though there is no stop sign or light. Guess what? Although you may have decided to pat yourself in the shoulder by doing this selfless act, the person driving in the lane next to you will probably keep driving because that is the agreement and next thing you know, the person crossing in front of you gets into the next lane and BLAMO, the car in lane next to you nails them, because that was NOT the agreement.

I’ve already asked Santa for this, but I know all the cookies in the world won’t get me it, so I’m asking you all directly to please stop driving to the beat of your own Little Drummer Boy.