I don't know about any of you other proud Deplorables out there, but I got my rocks off during our Dear Leader's speech. Oh man, was it grand! Sure, it was the longest State of the Union speech given in American history with the fewest word count, but it was a glorious one nonetheless.

I timed it perfectly by beginning to touch my nether-region as the Dear Leader approached the podium. As each word was read off the teleprompter, I slowing put my hands down my pants... very slowly and deliberately, and in time with the Dear Leader's cadence, I began to pleasure myself.

It being the longest State of the Union speech with the fewest word count in history, every time I started to approach climax, I had to back off. Approach, back off, approach, back off... the mindless applause of Republicans in lockstep with the Dear Leader only added to my pleasure.

Finally, as the Dear Leader rattled off soon-to-be-disproven claims, the speech came to the end, and at that end... *BOOM! I did it. I made a mess of my couch as the Dear Leader relished in his final standing ovation. It was AMAZING.

By the way, I'm not gay or anything... I'm just one of the forgotten men who climaxed as the Dear Leader gave his first State of the Boom-Boom, which is what I now call it. MAGA!