I did a little detective/psychological work and analyzed your letter. I have discovered the root cause of your pain. It was right there all along: "I just couldn't stay away." That's the problem right there! Next time, if a married man wants to get in your pants, and you don't want to feel rejected and hurt later, just stay away!

Bonus clue: "Who makes someone fall in love with them and then leaves them?" The answer is no one. No one ever makes anyone fall in love with them. Quit believing rom-coms and own your shit.

Hope that saves you a little on private eye and/or counseling costs.

Almost forgot: It could be worse...at least he's not banging his patients!

I have walked a similar path -- so wild about Harry, so sorry about the wife, so far gone that it took me a long time to come back. Every day, I bow my head in gratitude that he & I broke it off. Your heart is broken now, but just stay with it. Feel the rage kindle when you understand that all of it was a lie EXCEPT for your feelings. eprophet is right -- all you have to do is avoid the next one.

If someone is married and wants to sleep with you, and their spouse doesn't know what's going on nor approves, that's generally a really, really clear sign things won't end well. We're all tempted from time to time, but having seen adultery ruin so many lives, I'm lost as to why anyone even bothers doing it, save for the illicit thrill it might bring.