I'm afraid I might never move forward. All this hard work, discipline, and great attitude crap is just going to wear me down and leave me broken and alone. Maybe I'm just on a down wave. Maybe the good days are the illusion. I just want to be a good person who does good things and makes things better for the people around them. Even after I'm gone.
I may never be able to do the fancy things that you all do. Like apply for an apartment or work at a coffee shop. Relationships are for other people. Even though I'm moderately attractive, funny, smart, and thoughtful, my flaws will always supercede my assets.
On my better days, I have learned to enjoy my smaller version of a life, but I'd never ask you to join me. There's a lot here you don't see. Burdens. Liabilities. High risk. Low reward.
The skills I'll have to learn by the time I reach the level you started at. The weight of professional courtesy and mandated reclusion.
I'd ask for help, but I know I'm just having a bad day. Also, last time it got me banned from a few of my favorite places.