No one should feel self-conscious about their laugh. Except you. Comic: check your chuckle.

Real laughter is the sound of joy, catharsis and recognition of shared experience escaping from an amused human.

Too often yours is not a genuine human laugh. It's affected. It's a rude interjection. It's a heckle.

You might think you're helping. Lots of hecklers feel that way. You're wrong.

Stand-up is symbiotic. The comic feeds the audience with funny. The audience feeds the comic with laughter. You're eating off everyone's plate.

Your laugh is the bark of the Great Dane next-door who can't let the Chihuahua down the block get all the attention.

Your laugh pisses on the room to mark your territory and assert yourself as the alpha.

The problem isn't that you're loud. Loud is great. You're just noisy. Like an alarm on a car nobody bumped.

It's not even that it's monotonous. There's some variety. We've heard you be patronizing, attention-seeking, virtue-signaling and editorializing. But we didn't come to hear what you think, nor what you think we should think. We came to laugh. For real. It's supposed to be a fun ride we're all on together. But unless you're onstage, don't do the driving.

You're a comic. You should know better. Few will call you out, not out of respect, but out of fear. Hell hath no fury like a caller-outer called-out. You're no hero of a safe scene. You're a bully. But that's a whole other I, Anonymous.

If you can't handle the anonymity of the crowd, stay out of the audience. When another comic is on, it's their house. You and your fake-ass laugh are trespassing.