Look, I know its Portland. And I know you like driving slow. I know it makes your dick hard/pussy wet to piss off every car behind you by going 10 miles under the speed limit. But it's summer time. It's literally 100 degrees RIGHT NOW as I type this. And because I'm a dyke with a specific ascetic and no money I drive an old truck with no AC. So while you're cruising around in your Prius going 19 miles an hour down MLK with the AC blasting I need the actual wind in my hair to feel cool (ascetically and temperature wise). That wind only blows when I drive faster than 20 miles an hour. Without that breeze I'm so hot I want to fucking murder you. I want to run you RIGHT OFF THE FUCKING ROAD. I have an electric vibrator with more speed than your electric car. So get over your perfectly temperatured self righteous ass and drive like a normal fucking person. Or I might just follow you home and kick your ass.
If the Heat Doesn't Kill You, I Might
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