So you have become a vegan and you take such joy in telling anyone and everyone that you are. None of your friends give a shit.
“Oh but you haven’t evolved and become enlightened to the plunder...”
Seriously, choke already. You aren’t a better person because you eat kale and quinoa. You’re still the same self absorbed, narcissistic sociopath you have ALWAYS been, gleefully not using condoms because you don’t care who you infect with herpes.
Everything you own, was made in a sweatshop somewhere. Yes that smart phone you use to post about how much better you are than everyone because you’re “enlightened” as you adjust your Versace jeans to discuss nutritional yeast, was made by someone who literally can’t afford one leaf of your organic kale. You are the very reason so many people despise vegans, because you’re all hypocrites and no one cares about your diet. Quinoa isn’t fun. And whenever you come over for dinner, I lie to you about no animal products being in the special dish I have to serve you, because you’ve become enlightened. It’s loaded with lard.