Fuck finding a job, fuck resumes. You can take your performance profiles and your core competencies and shove them up your card stock ass; heaven forbid my resume be printed on standard fucking printer paper. Fuck creating accounts and applying for jobs that are already taken. Fuck manually inputting all my information to then upload my resume and cover letter for some fucking AI algorithm to count how many times I “performed”, “created”, and “produced” bullshit. Fuck the hiring manager who spends 30 seconds on my resume, fuck my life. I didn’t need that 14 dollars an hour job anyway, I have fucking unemployment. Thanks Obama... No really, I miss you Barack!