You know what I wish I could do? Ask potential dates about their bowel movements. I hate to admit it, but I'm turned off by massive and/or smelly poops.

Whenever I look at a dating profile, or even see someone attractive on the street, I always imagine what their poops must be like. If I see a photo of someone eating a taco or something, I immediately think to myself, "Oh no, I can't date them... I'm certain their poops must really stink."

It doesn't matter how attractive they are, sometimes there are things about them that make me think they have bad poops. I know I have to get over this, because, I mean, my poops aren't the friendliest and why do I judge others for things that I do, right?

When I was younger, I dated a person who was really attractive and the sex was great. I used their bathroom one time after sex and was totally grossed out. They had sprayed the back rim of the toilet bowl with diarrhea and apparently didn't see it to clean it up. It really grossed me out. I actually had a hard time performing oral sex on them after that. We broke up a couple of months later... coincidence? I think not.

I think seeing that mess at such a young age scarred me and to this day I always think about what one's poop must look like. If I think it'll gross me out, I won't date them.

I guess I'll be living the rest of my life alone...