I've gained 10 pounds after losing 25 over the past year. It sucks because it's an indication of my slow downfall. In January 2018, I decided to improve my life... eat better and join a gym. It worked. I changed my diet, lost 25 pounds and felt pretty great. I even went shirtless at the river this summer and got a few compliments. Then, for some reason, I lost all motivation. I'm not sure what it is, but I no longer have the desire to work out. I no longer care about my diet... or even my health. I've even taken to drinking whiskey on a nightly basis again. I'm even considering finding some coke... again.
Something changed and I don't know what it is... I would really like to know because it felt good to try. It felt good to be healthy. Now my pants feel tighter, my gut looks bigger and I continue to wallow in my self-pity, confused as to what the fuck has changed? I thought I had figured something out after being a loser for so many years...
I used to be good-looking... never had a problem getting a date, yet I've been alone for 3+ years now and I couldn't get a date to save my life. I'm confused, sad, and ashamed.
Damn... what happened to my fucking life?