Stop breaking into my piece of shit, 20 year old car, hoping to find anything of value to steal.

I do not have the funds to replace the window you broke (stealing a Goodwill floor fan from the backseat and my dollar-store sunglasses off the dashboard)...even if I did, you'd just break another one out. This way, you can just push out the taped-up plastic next time you break in.

I can't leave anything in the car (you stole my only coat last time I parked at Fred Myer for 30 minutes) and have to expect to have to clean up a ransacked vehicle every morning before I can drive to work.

You are seriously harshing my Christmas buzz, and goodwill towards my fellow human; instead, visions of violent retribution against your pathetic, piece- of -shit asses dance in my head. You are why otherwise nonviolent people buy guns.