Hey asshole! You stole my earbuds out of my apron when I left it on a hook over my weekend. I’d demand them back but You have gross ass crusty ears, so fuck it.
I checked YOUR apron over YOUR weekend and found a 1/2 pack of smokes. I took several out and into the men’s room where I tucked them into my ass cheeks and marched in place making sure your Monday sucks ass like mine did. You Dickhead!