The PDX mob shakes down suburbanites for parking "fees" and punishes its enemies by rolling its eyes at them and telling them the Willamette water is TOTES safe for drinking.

The Jersey mob has five meals a day consisting largely of carbs, has to ask the Bloods to move product through prisons because the "wiseguys" are too old and weak to do it themselves, and put their kids through the finest local colleges so they can one day live in a Hoboken apartment with three other guys and defraud investors out of their retirement.

Winner: PDX mob, for not being the sad, deflated testicle that is "the mob."

You people watch way too much television. The Sopranos debuted 20 years ago and Tony Soprano (and James Gandolfini) are both dead. The only mob we need to currently worry about is the Russian mob and they pwn our asses, lock, stock, and barrel.