Frigging Portland gets so far up its own rectum with all its transit options and cycling and over/undergentrification and baseball hate that everything in front of it looks shitty! I mean, you self-absorbed Bulgogi eaters don't even see the time it takes me just to get from the McMansion in Washougal to my job in this hellhole. Sure, I'm one of the few people in town who still wears a suit jacket or tie that wasn't made by some artisanal tailor. Sure, I eat over at the Potbelly while all the nerdnicks crowd around the food truck. Sure, I spend something like $80 a week in gas alone, but do you know how long it takes to not only commute, but to pop off to Costco every week? A long time!!! Listen you city full of dick grendades: We regular people have had it with all the real cities laughing at us and our lack of grown men in jerseys with a 20-year-old's name on the back. We're tired of being told to just "allow more time" for our commute. We're just tired, OK. So maybe, for once in your life, stop being the puke danishes in plaid that you always are and just give us a goddamned lane on I-5. You weren't using that school anyway.