I got tinted windows because the light's on new cars are too bright. And because I'm really attractive, and it was too distracting for other drivers. I was causing between 10 to 15 accident's a day. I like to think of myself as pretty altruistic, but there's a line you know? I'm not gonna get surgery to dampen the Adonis effect of my perfect countenance, I'm not even sure that modern medicine has a cure for the flawless physiognomy that I have grown into. Additionally, I feel like it would be against God, against nature itself, to augment or reduce what can only be objectively described as perfection. I do not posses the hubris, the sense of self-importance required to feel that I, a lowly man, would be justified to turn will to action and destroy the worldly actualization of the dreams of angels.

I thought getting tinted windows was a reasonable compromise, but if it really bothers you that much I'll get them changed back. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that my decision hurt you so deeply. I'm sorry that I caused you so pain. I'm sorry that I have advanced the cycle of hate, and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I was just trying to shield you from the inexorable captivating effects of my ineffable beauty.