Always get paid to poop. Always.

Colitis is a real thing.

You must be a huge creep.

My coworker pooped twice a day at work, with each session being approximately 15 minutes long. I added up how much he got paid to poop:

Hourly wage: $30
30 minutes total each day spent pooping: $15 a day.
$15 x 5 day work week: $75
$75 x 4 weeks: $300 a month
$300 x 12 months: $3,600 a year.

$3,600 a year... to poop.

Court is adjourned.