Please put you trays in the upright position and keep your seatbelts fastened. Please stow your bags in the overhead bin above or below under the seat back in front of you.

I'm talking about the bus now. If you're young in the priority seating and I'm trying to walk by you, move your feet. I will kick them on purpose. I'm still trying to determine how much motion I can use without it being blatant. I know you're cool, laid back, looking at your Instagram likes, and relaxing, but get a clue. You're the same person that would just sit there and stare with a dumbass look at the old person with a cane looking for a seat, or the wheelchair boarding.

I-D-I-O-T-S.